Adoptive Momma posed a question over at BlogHer that has often been posed to her. When do you tell your child they are adopted? I’ve also seen this question asked on a number of adoption-related listservs. It always strikes me as odd.
For us, this has never really been an issue. We have told Pkin from before she could talk that she was adopted. Our view is there is no reason to be quiet about it since we view adoption as a normal and appropriate way of forming a family. It may not be the way the majority of families are created, but it also isn’t something to hide or be ashamed of.
Of course, we don’t really have a lot of choice in the matter seeing as how, at some point, she’d figure out that she looks Chinese and we don’t…but I honestly don’t think that has affected the way we talk about adoption.
We don’t know much (anything, really) about the exact circumstances that brought her to be part of our family, what decisions her birth parents made and why, but we try to be as open as possible about everything we do know so that she’ll be comfortable with coming to us to ask the questions we don’t know and can talk through together.